Is your Child Jealous?

children_jealousyChildren prefer an exclusive love and attention from their parents, and they often have jealous reactions when a younger sibling is born. Find out if your child is likely to act in this way and what you can do to keep a balanced harmony in your family.

Jealousy in children can be expressed with the following ways:

When a child:

  • Becomes aggressive with his little brother or sister or with the parents, many times without particular reason. Finding absurd and insignificant excuses, he shows his anger, he hits, uses bad language, pulls other children’s hair and bites.
  • He is having trouble to adapt himself and adopts antisocial behavior. He strongly denies to go to school, and to participate in social events and excursions.
  • He strongly denies eating, has anorectic tendency, adopts odd preferences and whims for food and looses weight.
  • Is having sleeping disorders. He denies going to sleep or is having difficulties to sleep, is waking up in the middle of the night, demands to sleep in your room or pees in his bed.
  • He even soils his underwear during the day, he talks and cries like a baby, and generally adopts smaller child’s behavior.
  • He extreme cases he can present sign of illness, or even get sick very often.

How to deal with jealousy?

  • Ask him to explain exactly his feelings and discuss with him.
  • Don’t degrade your child but try to comprehend his feelings. Your child is trying to express his emotions and no matter how irrational they may look to you, you should respect them.
  • Ask your child what he wants and satisfy his wishes as long they are within reasonable limits. Do not, in any way, attempt to bribe him satisfying each of his silly requirement.
  • Encourage him to feel friendly and positive toward his younger brother or sister. Explain to your child that the youngest member of the jealousy_in_childrenfamily will be his/her friend to play and discuss.
  • Urge your child to take responsibilities – if his age allows it – towards his brother or sister. Ask him to take care of the baby, to feed him, to play with him, and try to calm when he cries. The children are very happy when they can behave like adults.
  • Explain to him that the needs of a baby in the early days are numerous and that the same attention was given to him also when he was a baby.
  • Make sure that he understands that the love for him has not diminished, and that you can love also the two children equally and each one is special for you.
  • Show him, with actions, your love and give him all the attention he so desperately needs. Your new baby may need more of your care, however the needs of your first child are also increased, perhaps now even more.
  • Don’t forget to remind him as often as you can the important place he has in your heart.
  • And always remember that all the children want to seem stronger and more capable than the other.



2 Responses to “Is your Child Jealous?”

  1. Christina says:

    I have a 6 year old son, who is a good child. However, I have been dating my boyfriend, who is not his father, for about two years now. At first he was very reluctant to open up in front of him. However, as we spent more time all together my son warmed up to my boyfriend and everything seemed to be going okay. Over the past few months i have noticed my son becomes extremly jealous when he comes around. My son will sit in the corner and cry or lay on the floor when we cuddle to watch a movie. I do not exclude my son; I tell him to come lay with me, but this makes him more upset. 95% of the time I ask my boyfriend to excuse himself.. Is there something else I can do to keep my son happy and still spend time with my boyfriend?

  2. Parent Expert says:

    Your son feels he is losing his space and quality time with you, he is afraid your boyfriend is taking his place.

    Your son needs to understand that he does not have to make place to your friend because your friend will not have the same place as your son. And it is also for your boyfriend to take his place, of friend.

    Your son does not have anything to say, on this choice. If your son prevents you from making your life, he will be upset with him all his life. What power or capacity are you giving your son, is it too big or too important for him?

    By taking your freedom, you authorize also your son to take his freedom, and to make his life.