Nowadays, just as back when we were babies, parenting is a challenging and an ever-evolving job. Back when we were young, pediatricians, educators and psychologists put out opinions and findings of research that were meant to help and guide parents through the parenting years. Parenting and educational advice is still around and the emphasis on new findings and different ways of parenting are still given by the same professions.
New parenting styles involve positive discipline, calm and asserted parenting, no corporal punishment, happiest baby or toddler on the block and so much more. Within all these new theories on how to best raise and parent your children, you might wonder, did our parents do their job wrong? Did they not know how to parent and are old fashioned ways of parenting no good? On the contrary, you are a great personality, you are successful in life and your parents are most likely very proud of you. So there is nothing wrong with the way your parents have raised you. It actually is good to introduce old fashioned ways of parenting into the parenting game.
New findings for parenting are advice and guidelines for parents, things that can be included into your parenting to improve and are not the only things that might work for your personal parenting style. Parenting styles are individual, just as individual as the child that is raised. There is not one solution for all children, but rather a great variety. And for some parents it works very well to parent their child the new way, while for others old fashioned is the solution.
Old fashioned does absolutely not mean to get out your yard stick or belt to punish your child, a child should never be abused or punished in any way that can harm the child. Old fashioned parenting can be based on any of the following principles.
In old-fashioned parenting, parents always consider the family’s situation before they consider the children’s situation when making a decision. Nowadays parents pay solely attention to what children need and forget the family in the equation.
Discipline means communication and then consequences or punishment (if necessary). But before you hand out consequences, make sure you communicate instructions and expectations to your children in a way that they will understand. Just saying to your child “it is time to clean up your room now” is not the same as telling them to pick up their toys now. It is important to signal to children that parents are in charge and that children have to listen to their parents. Obedience is a word that is sometimes used in this context, but should not be mistaken with its negative definition.
Something else that our children have lost through new parenting style is respect for others. New parenting styles are so much centered and based on self-esteem and self-confidence that they never learn to respect other, older and wiser people. Often time’s, high self-esteem in children means low self-control since they are used to get what they want to be able to achieve whatever they want. Instilling in our children a respect for others might be one of the biggest accomplishments in parenting.
Lastly there are manners and obligations. Talking to our teenagers, I doubt that they know what the words manners or obligations really mean. Teaching children to say please and thank you, to keep their word, to say bless you, to speak only with an empty mouth and more may just seem superficial to some, but it can make the world a better place and a better place is what we want for our children.
Sarah Greener’s objective is to teach others what she has had the privilege to learn about deep, abiding love, and a soul filled life. This includes being with her soulmate for 2 decades and raising 4 lovely children.
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