Parenting Blog

by Paula Heron

Unfortunately babies don’t come with a user manual; however, there are thousands of books on the subject of child care and parenting in the stores. Now more than ever new parents seem to need to resort to books when it comes to the subject of how best to look after their new baby.

And it’s ironic that what was considered “best practice” from one author some years ago is now completely contradicted by today’s Best Seller or Number 1 Guru. In the first part of the twentieth century, for example, a structured routine was considered essential to prepare a baby and child for the disciplines and realities of adult life. One early introduction to discipline was for parents to avoid any instinct to pick up their baby as soon as he cried because then he would learn that he could expect attention on demand.

A new theory then gained popularity and it stood a lot of existing practices on their head. Dr Benjamin Spock argued that there was no standard routine that fitted all babes because each child was different. And as part of that, a crying baby should be soothed by cuddles and kisses because it produced calm rather than any lasting harm. His views were initially controversial but were adopted by many and at regular intervals since that time new child raising theories have been published by other authors.

My own introduction to the joys and difficulties of raising a child was more than thirty years ago. At that time the use of books to become a parenting expert was thankfully still fairly rare and certainly not something I resorted to. Like most moms, I had doctors, midwives, family and friends to consult in addition to the natural instincts that I believe virtually all moms have.

So with that in mind, and despite the fact that I don’t regard myself as a child-raising expert, here are the basics that served me well:

* Talking to my babies during breast feeding and bottle feeding: that added to the closeness and increased the bond between us.

* Sleep for baby was easier and more peaceful in the open air of our back yard, secure in a baby carriage. Clearly this approach won’t work for families without a secure back yard and it’s not something for working moms. And I don’t think that it will work anything like as successfully with today’s strollers!

* Using a routine was very important to us, even though there were conflicting opinions by then. Bedtime was preceded by a bath and then a feed, plus a story reading as soon as they were old enough to understand. This routine carried on into later childhood and I believe it relaxed them and helped them to have a better night’s sleep.

* Talking to young babies helps in their language development – I used to talk to them when I was bathing them, changing them, doing chores, when we went out in the car or out for a walk.

* Organizing my day so that in the afternoon I had time to devote to my children by focusing on housework in the morning.

* Making sure that both parents adopted the same approach to discipline when dealing with the children: we didn’t allow them to “divide and conquer” us because we always handled any disagreements between Mom and Dad outside their hearing.

* Maintaining consistency: we were always prepared to explain what the “rules” were and we worked hard to keep the rules the same, wherever possible, because our children seemed to respect and respond to that.

To be absolutely clear, what I’ve laid out above is what worked well for me and it’s certainly not a total guidebook to be slavishly followed, but I hope you find some thoughts and ideas that help you to do your parenting job more easily. Please just remember that you need to take all published advice with a pinch of salt, because your child is unique and will respond differently than any writer can define.

Read Also:

• Nine Essential Tips For Traveling With A Baby
• Popular Baby Name Trends in 2009
• Actively Listening to your Child
• Family – Your Responsibility To Keep Them Close To You
• Babysitting Tips for Newbies