For or against spanking?
Posted by Al. Weaver on Wednesday Oct 29, 2008 Under Parenting Tips
For or against spanking? Does spanking always occur at the right time, is it always justified? Has it really some educational value? Several studies showed that most of the time, when spanking occurs, it is because the adult is irritated and could not control himself.
Manage to contain and control yourself
If an adult gives a spanking in a moment of anger, the child does not understand why we reprimand him. He understands, though, that his foolishness was not equal to his punishment. Furthermore, it is not rare that after such a situation the adult feels guilty, something that the child perceives. He can be then destabilized: his references regarding authority are confused.
Some parents think unconsciously that the imbecilities of their children are oriented against them. It’s better to become aware of this state of mind in order to get rid of it.
Besides, the toddlers are incapable to respect all the rules, it is a question of development, and it is often useless to scold them.
Furthermore, if the spankings are repeated too often, the child will ceaselessly be afraid of making a betise, he will not dare undertake anything anymore and will risk to turn in on himself. The repeated spankings can then have an effect on the child and on his development.
It is advisable to always have in mind that to raise a child is not “to tame” him. Education has to privilege the learning of the autonomy.
Do not give a bad example to the child
Children take example from their entourage. Now to give a spanking is a form of violence. If the child sees that the adult makes use of violence when he is angry, then he will tend to reproduce the same behavior if one of his friends makes him angry. It is better to teach them to resolve otherwise a conflict, with dialog or negotiation for example.
It’s the same for his behavior towards his small brother or his younger sister: the child has to learn that he cannot use his physical superiority on younger child, and the adult has to give him the example.
Read Also:
- Other manners to express your authority
- Should we spank our children?
- 12 Commandments for Parents: Are They Still Valid?
- Control your Anger, Don’t let it Control You
- Actively Listening to your Child
October 29th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Whats everyone doing for safety precautions for Halloween? My husband came across an article (http://i-newswire.com/pr220892.html) with some info about background checking neighbors. I thought that may be a little overboard, but it had some other good suggestions for some precautions I haven’t thought about. Last year my youngest son came down with a massive fever after Halloween. I almost thought about just taking the kids to our church’s fall festival this year instead of door-to-door to prevent that from happening again. I don’t know yet. What’s your advice? Am I over-reacting or just being a concerned mom?
October 29th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
There are indeed some good suggestions and easy to apply. It’s just that the alternative this site offers brings us a little closer to this unwanted paranoid society based on fear. I would just stick to the traditional door to door aspect with just a reliable supervisor; we want to keep our traditions for us and our children.
Halloween is also a way to give some autonomy to our children and give them the chance to be responsible. Talk to them and ask them what they feel about it.
As for getting a cold, if they don’t catch it during Halloween, they will probably at school, it’s just an inevitable cycle.
The bottom line is that you are not over-reacting for being a concerned mom. Just try not to show your worries to your children as they sense everything and their interpretation of things might be different from ours as well as the repercussions.
Be present and always listen to your children will help you to be aware of any unwanted situation.
Happy Halloween.